Anything At All

I am happy to say I did it! I graduated college. I officially have a Bachelor of Science in Communications - Journalism. I never thought this would happen, but it finally did. I will never have to go to school again. I will never have to do homework again! Unless, I go to graduate school...but that's a different topic for a different day. All the useless information I've learned over the past three years can now be pushed out of my brain into the trash where it belongs. The pain I've gone through with teachers I hated, the struggle I went through from teachers who thought I could do better, it all ends here! I am done! It's finally over!

After I finished my paper last night about midnight, I danced around the apartment for about an hour singing obnoxiously and slightly off-key at the top of my lungs. Actually, I just went to bed. But I was dancing inside. It is quite possible that today is the best day of my life. I shared the day with my family and friends and people who drive me crazy, but it doesn't matter anymore because I will never have to see those people again! It couldn't have gone better. Unless you count the "Stay Purple" song we had to sing at the end of commencement...which I don't.

So here I am, lying on my bed because all the jumping up and down tired me out, and I find myself thinking about what I'm going to do. It just occurred to me: anything I want. I can do anything. I never have to go to school again. The guilt I feel when I watch TV instead of doing homework is gone. That anxious feeling I get when I have a test? I'll never have that again. I'll never have to "change" my ideas and beliefs to please a professor again. I won't ever have to worry about an insult directed at my professor lowering my grade.  I am done. I don't have to read anything I don't want to read. I don't have to study useless material for hours and hours on end to get a grade. I can finally do what I want to do. I can do anything!

I wonder what I'll come up with. :)

xoxo,
Jessie

10 Things I'll Never Do Again

I gave my roommate a ride to school this morning. On the way I complained about one of my final papers that my teacher is making me rewrite (again). I said, in my usual sarcastic fashion, "Put that on the list of top ten things I'll never do again." She began to ask me what other things I would never do again, and I proceeded to think about it for the rest of the day. So here it is:

Top Ten Things I'll Never Do Again

1. Think that writing a paper about registered sex offenders would be "fascinating."
2. Waste two hours watching Napoleon Dynamite. 
3. Say "sounds fun" when someone asks me to go on short (a.k.a. three-mile) hike.
4. Believe the people at the bottom of the mountain that say they'll catch me when the zip-line ends.
5. Wear brand new flats to tear up carpet and remove wallpaper. 
6. Date a registered sex offender.
7. Tell a friend that I hate another girl so I can watch her tell that other girl. 
8. Take ceramics as my "easy" class of the semester.
9. Believe a guy when he says, "I didn't have time to call." 
10. Wear pink and red eyeshadow with sparkles and think it's hot.

You might think this is a little premature, making a list of the top ten things I'll never do again. But I still have the "Boy Was I Wrong List"; the "Things I Should Have Done but Didn't" list; and the ever-so-popular the "Stupid Things I've Said" list. 

Stay tuned.

xoxo,

Jessie

Just Laugh

Tonight, I watched some YouTube clips of Saturday Night Live, David Letterman, Jay Leno...you know, the "funny people." I decided I want to be one of those people who can laugh at just about anything. I like to think I already am; anyone who knows me knows I laugh so much it's obnoxious. Since I haven't laughed that much today, I thought I'd make a list of things that make me laugh.

Laugh a Little

• Hiccups
• The word "tutu"
• Clown-size shoes
• The look on the waiter's face when he sees I've finished my meal
• Gilmore Girls
• My niece's laughter
• Elaine from Seinfield dancing
• My roommate attempting to grow potatoes in a vase full of water
• Dates that are just too awful that if you don't laugh, you'll cry
• The Hokey Poky
• When my mom's dog tries to jump on the bed and only makes it halfway
• My hair when I get out of bed
• My face when I go to bed
• Running and the fact I will never understand it
• When life hands you lemons and lemon juice squirts you in the eye while making lemonade

If these things don't make you laugh, just know I'm entertained easily. :)

xoxo,

Jessie

I'll Be Happy When

It's okay to be happy. Sometimes I think people, myself included, are constantly looking for new ways to be happy. We think that we'll be happy when some event occurs. We'll be happy when we get a new car. We'll be happy when we get a new job.

Common I'll Be Happy Whens:

• I'll be happy when I graduate
  
• I'll be happy when I get my own place
  
• I'll be happy when I have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
  
• I'll be happy when I get married
  
• I'll be happy when I have kids.
  
• I'll be happy when my kids go to Kindergarten.
  
• I'll be happy when my kids go off to college.
  
• I'll be happy when I die.

Thinking like this propels us in the direction opposite happiness. It makes us believe that our happiness depends on an object or an event, when in reality the only thing it depends on us. We can choose when we'll be happy. We don't have to be blissfully, jump for joy, obnoxiously perky, kind of happy all the time. That would be awful. But we can be content with the way things are. We can be thankful for what we have in our lives currently and look forward to what we could have in the future.

This is not to say that we should base our happiness entirely on the future. If we learn to be happy with the here and now we can be happy with whatever the future brings. We will still have bad days and we'll still feel sad, but the majority of our days we should be able to be content with what we have.

If you're having trouble being happy in the here and now and you're thinking in terms of "I'll be happy when..." you can change. Start small and think about the simple things that make you happy. When we focus on the things that make us happy instead of the things that make us sad our perspective can change and we bring more things that make us happy into our lives. If you can't do this right now and you have too much other stuff going on in your lives, that's okay. Happiness is a process and we all have to find our own way that we can be happy.

This way works for me, but it might not work for you. Find a way that works for you whether that's getting professional help and seeing a therapist or (even crazier) working out on a regular basis. I just want everyone to know that it's okay to be happy right now. You don't have to wait to be happy.

xoxo,
Jessie

Yes Ma'am

I've never considered myself old. I've never thought that I'm anything but young. When I describe myself one of the first words is always young. For instance: I am a smart, young, beautiful girl who is somewhat abrasive, more than a little sarcastic, and almost always bluntly honest. Key words: young and girl. I didn't say I was an old woman, or a middle-age lady, or least of all, a ma'am. Yet I've noticed that people are calling me ma'am more and more frequently.

Am I getting wrinkles? Is my hair turning gray? Do I wear clothes that look like they should be worn by someone 30 years older than me? If you are honestly considering answering any of these questions "yes" you need to stop reading my blog. The answer is no.

So what's with the ma'am? Is it a respect thing? It's better when people call me "miss". Better yet, just call me by my name, because chances are good that whoever called me ma'am was given my credit card so they should know my name.

I shouldn't be so upset by this. Then again, I get upset about a lot of things. I should add dramatic to my list of attributes when I introduce myself.

My name is Jessie. I am a smart, young, beautiful girl who is somewhat abrasive, more than a little sarcastic, and has freaked out about minor things on more than one occasion. Is that all right with you?

Yes ma'am.

xoxo,
Jessie

Blind Faith

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."

-Martin Luther King Jr.

The academic year is coming to a close. Life changing events are about to take place. I find myself leaning over  the edge of a cliff looking down into a dark abyss watching as friends and classmates leap over the edge with smiles and laughter. Only now do I notice that my friends and classmates (even my enemies) all posses one item I do not. A parachute. All of them know that before they hit the ground with a SPLAT! they will have the saving grace of a parachute. They will come out of the experience alive. Except for the unfortunate one or two who won't open their parachutes on time...but for the most part they'll all live. Me, however? I'm scared stiff.

Aside from my over-dramatic metaphor, I really am excited to graduate. I don't really have a plan. I don't know what I'm going to do. I just know I'm one of the lucky few who have their parents to fall back on. But while I was thinking about all of this I was thinking...don't I have faith it will all work out? Don't I know, somewhere, waaay in the back of my mind, that life will turn out okay?

Sometimes faith isn't always having a plan. Sometimes faith is just taking a few steps into the dark, away from the light. The thing about light is it allows us to see. Whenever it's bright outside people can see exactly what is going on. But darkness obscures. It's a mystery. No one knows what it might contain. That's why people are afraid of the dark. Have you ever known someone to be afraid of the light?

Seeing in the light is easy. It's seeing in the dark that's hard.

I guess sometimes we just need to be blind for a while.

xoxo,
Jessie

April Fools' Day

Times are a'changing and Google's changing with them. Watch the video below to find out how you can save time by making your computer motion-sensitive.

For those of you who, like me, don't thoroughly enjoy April Fools' Day, here's Jimmy Kimmel's April Fools' Advice:

I hope you enjoyed these videos. And if not...April Fools! 

xoxo,
Jessie

Will vs. Want

I'm tired of saying things like "I want to go to bed..." or "I want ice cream." Don't get me wrong, it's good to say what you want. How are you going to get what you want if you don't ever ask? But for things that you can accomplish yourself - like losing weight, enhancing a talent, or reaching your dreams - you shouldn't have to ask. You should be able to say to yourself, and to whoever asks, "I will lose weight..." or "I will learn to play the piano."

When you say things like "I will..." then you are more likely to believe you can accomplish whatever thing it is you said you will do. People who simply want things generally don't do anything to progress toward their dreams. They spend all of their time wishing and waiting and wanting. If they actually did something with their time instead of sitting around hoping something would change their situation they might actually get what they want.

"I want a nicer car" - Okay, so what are you going to do to get a nicer car? Are you going to wait around praying God will somehow make a Porsche appear in your driveway? Yeah, and I'm praying that Bill Gates gives all his money to a random stranger who just happens to have my social security number. You have to work to have that nicer car. You have to save money, plan and research what car you want, look at insurance...etc. It's not just going to be handed to you because you want it. If you say "I will have a nicer car" that implies that you're already working toward getting a nicer car and you believe you will get one.

"I want to be a better person" - So what? Are you doing anything to be a better person or are you just sitting back and hoping you'll wake up and miraculously change into a 21st Century Florence Nightingale? I mean, as cool as that would be, not all of us have the stomach for gory wounds. Say something like "I will be a better person" to yourself. Even if you don't believe it right now, it's good to say it - out loud - because eventually you will believe it.

I'm not saying you should go around telling everyone you meet that "I will be rich," or "I will be way sexier than you!" but I don't think saying it to yourself is bad. If you believe it, that's what matters.

This does not mean that you are better than anyone else! That is completely false information and if that's what you're taking from this post, you should forget this entire thing immediately. If you're telling yourself "I will rule the world" stop reading and go get some professional help - now!

For the rest of you: I hope this brought a little insight into the way I think and how I think people can be happier if they would believe they can change and will change instead of just wanting to change.

xoxo,
Jessie

Spring Break - Part Two

It rained today. I miss the sun. I've been thinking about my fabulous spring break in the warm, sunny weather. I finally got the cord to my camera so I could upload pictures from that my friend and I took at the beach. I looked at the pictures and it made me miss the sun even more.

I absolutely love the beach! I want to go back tomorrow. I want to soak up the sun and sing happy songs and get some Vitamin D. I'm so tired of the cold and the rain. I can't wait until summertime. And yes, part of that is because I will no longer have to go to school.


xoxo,
Jessie

Fun Quotes

I was thinking that since I write on here all the time about me, myself, and I...I should share some quotes that make me happy.

HAPPY QUOTES

"Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers." - Charles W. Eliot

"Fiction reveals truths that reality obscures." - Jessamyn West

"Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with"
-Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."
-Dr. Seuss


"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Seuss

"A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That's why they don't get what they want." -Madonna

"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it." -Madonna

"Friendship with ones self is important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world." -Eleanor Roosevelt 

"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people." -Anonymous

"I can't remember a time before you started telling this story."
-Topher Grace in Win a Date with Tad Hamilton

Hope these quotes made you as happy as they make me!

xoxo,
Jessie