Back to School

Summer is coming to a close and school is beginning again for the unlucky majority. It's the first time in 15 years that I haven't been getting ready for a new year of school. All around me students are preparing themselves for that unbearable teacher they have to have, the class they took for an easy A, and the inevitable first homework assignment. They can't just fool around anymore. No more staying up late just because they can, no more sleeping in until noon because their shift at work doesn't start until 12:15. Now they actually have to try and pass their classes. And that, my friends, is not at all fun.

Unless, of course, you're one of those strange and unusual specimens that actually likes school, heaven forbid. In which case, this post does not apply to you at all and you are free to close this window and spend your time studying instead of procrastinating. Go on - get back to work.

To the rest of you...continue procrastinating. It's worth it. To those of you starting school, my apologies. On the other hand...congratulations! You're one start of the year closer to being finished with school forever!

Since I am no longer in school (don't hate me, I went through it, too), I'm celebrating the start of school by watching my favorite back to school movies. Don't worry, I won't watch them all in one day. I could, because I don't go to school anymore (haha!), but I won't just out of respect for you.

5 Back to School Movies

Grease: In some states an entire school year is only two hours long. In others, it's two semesters long and the students only retain two hours worth of knowledge. 

Ferris Bueller's Day Off: Just repeating "Bueller...Bueller...Bueller..." makes you feel better about school. 

Legally Blonde: Sometimes I wonder if I should go to graduate school...then I watch this movie.

Never Been Kissed: You too can change your entire high school experience by having your brother come to your high school and make everyone believe you're popular.  

Sydney White: Girl goes to college and tries to liberate the dorks. It's like watching a train wreck. You want to look away, but you can't. 

If you're bummed that school is starting then watch a movie that'll make you smile...laugh...and maybe wet your pants. 

xoxo,

Jessie

If I was a Spy...

I dreamed I was a spy. I was sent to kill the CEO of a company because he was doing something bad...I'm not quite sure what it was, but I was sure it was really bad... Anyway, the CEO was having a fancy party that night in his mansion so it would be the perfect opportunity to kill him. I don't know why, but it just was. I stood waiting in the rafters of his mansion, because someone as wealthy as him couldn't afford to finish his ceiling, and when he was directly below me, I pulled out my gun and lunged toward the chandelier about to shoot when suddenly - I woke up.

Obviously it got me to thinking, 'I'm hungry.' After I ate some food, though, I thought, 'I wonder what my life would be like if I really was a spy?' So I made one of my ever infamous lists.

If I Was A Spy...

• My name would be Dominique Francesca Lightningbug. I don't know why; it just would.
  
  
• I'd dye my hair black because that's what Angelina Jolie taught spies do in Salt. It just makes sense.
  
  
• I would wear waaaay cuter clothes than I wore in my dream. Black turtleneck? Not a chance.
  
  
• I'd live in a penthouse apartment and make everyone believe the bestselling author Jessie Holmes lived there.
  
  
• I'd buy a yellow Porsche because nothing says undercover like driving down the street in car that screams "LOOK AT ME!"
  
  
• I would live a successful, but lonely life, and wonder if my life would have been better off if I had gone to college, majored in Journalism, and married a nice young man who would have supported my writing career and the fact that no matter how hard I try I'll never look good in the color orange, had kids and lived happily ever after. Then I'd eat a chocolate and realize no, probably not. My life as a spy is definitely the better of the two.
  
  

xoxo,

Jessie

Original Research - Nap Time

I was on Wikipedia recently and saw this notice: 

This article may contain original research. Please improve it by verifying the claims made and adding references. Statements consisting only of original research may be removed. More details may be available on the talk page. (January 2011)

Needless to say it made me laugh out loud. I decided to conduct my own original research and will allow you, the reader, to improve it by verifying the claims made and adding references. However, any statements made consisting only of original research may be removed. 

"Nap Time"

By Jessie Holmes Lo.L.

Remember preschool when you would grab a blanket and a teddy bear and take a nap? And when you woke up you were refreshed and energized and ready to take on the monkey bars again? 

A recent scientific study from Harvard-Yale-Princeton, respectively, showed that 99.996 percent of adults that took a short nap at work were able to increase productivity. If the nap was 40-60 minutes long productivity increased 10 thousand percent, but if under 40 minutes productivity would decrease. 

In essence if 40-60 minute naps were allowed, a 40 hour/week job could accomplish 4 thousand hours of work. If more companies made mandatory nap time they would increase their growth exponentially. 

Needless to say, nap time is a necessity that no one can afford to miss. Literally. 

xoxo,

Jessie